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walks into the wood, and this only gave her more reason to be He inclined his head in acknowledgment of her words. I just
barely civil to him. She tried to make sure they were never alone don t want you to be hurt.
together, never able to talk. Yet his eyes sometimes told her things You don t want me to be hurt? She mocked him with a humour-
that his mouth never uttered. It didn t concern her if he approved less laugh. You mean hurt like when you walked out on us? Hurt
or not, but nevertheless, she felt uncomfortable every time she when Grandfather died? Hurt when we were forced to enter a
donned her shawl and slipped away to met Ethan. Ethan. An inner private workhouse? When mother stopped eating and died of a
glow of bliss warmed her and she sighed. For short moments broken heart? Hurt when Sally no longer cared enough to fight a
during the day while she did her monotonous chores, she allowed common cold and allowed it to weaken her lungs? Is that what you
her mind to concentrate on only him; his laughter, his wit, the way mean?
he smiled at her, the way his eyes lingered on her face. His kisses Belle
sent her to heaven, and she knew with an inborn logic that it Don t call me that! She yelled. You have no right! Pain and
wouldn t be long before they took the next step and loved each disappointment ate at her. She denied her tears an outlet and let
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ANNE WHI T F I E L D T HE GE NT L E WI ND S CARE S S
them burn within her heart like a cancer. last year that I d not have long, a year or two at most.
As though he were an old man, Aaron stumbled to the table and Abruptly, white-hot fury overcame her. So you came home to
sat down. If I could leave now, I would. die? You came home to burden us with your illness and then death?
She turned away from him in disgust. Leaving is what you re You would have saddled Mother with all this after walking out on
good at, isn t it? her? She gripped the table to stop herself from scratching his eyes
I stayed with your mother for as long as I could, but I wasn t out. Have I not enough to contend with? Wasn t it enough that you
made to stay in one place all my life. Being a husband, a father, returned with an illegitimate child? But now this!
smothered me. It wasn t as though I didn t love you all; I did, but He stepped back at her ferocity. I . . . I
I couldn t breathe. He shook his head, his eyes not seeing the You re not just a coward, you re a selfish, unthinking swine! And
kitchen, but locked somewhere in the past. The responsibility was I hate you! Isabelle picked up her skirts and sped from the kitchen.
too much. Your mother never understood my ways. She met me at She ran across the yard, scattering geese and chickens, through the
a fair. I lived and worked within a travelling fair. I loved her at back gate that opened into the house field and dashed towards the
first sight. We both thought I could live in one place and be woods. A sob broke from her. I hate him. Blind with tears, she scram-
happy. bled over the stile to fall to her knees on the other side. A youth
I don t want to hear your pathetic excuses. What kind of man walked on Draper s Lane, but she ignored his questioning look and,
abandons his family? Isabelle steeled her heart against him. She scrambling up, flung herself into the dense trees. New leaves coated
had loved him, adored him once. And he had left without even a the branches and made a canopy over the wood like an umbrella,
goodbye. She wouldn t give him the power to wound her that way blocking out the sun. In the dim light, she skittered down the
again. If you want to leave, you can. I will take care of Bertie. He incline. With the back of her hand, she dashed away her tears. A tree
doesn t deserve to be dragged around the country, always hungry, root tripped her. She fell hard, knocking the air out of her lungs. The
always tired. dank smell of earth filled her nose. She lay outstretched, numb and
I can t go. not wanting to move for the fear of the pain that would certainly
She shrugged, desperately trying not to care. break her heart. He came home to die.
I am a coward. Isabelle!
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