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person. Jason stopped himself before he got into how Connor deserved to be accepted
for who he was, even if he was gay. He still wasn t clear on exactly who knew what
about this whole thing.
Bill looked like he had several angry retorts he d like to make, but instead he looked
at Steve and growled, It was a misunderstanding. The coach never touched Connor. It
sounded like it hurt him to say it, but it sure felt good for Jason to hear it.
Steve raised his eyebrows, then turned to Walt. I don t have the authority to close
the investigation. Not formally. He looked back to Jason for a minute, then nodded
slowly. But I m willing to go on the record saying that I m satisfied that, based on the
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evidence available, there is no sign of any illegal or even improper behavior here. Then
he frowned in Bill James direction. At least not on the part of the coach.
Walt sighed deeply and turned to look at the cluster of owners. Then he muttered,
Fuck it. He grinned quickly. It s my last year. What are they going to do, fire me?
He faced the crowd and raised his voice. The charges are dropped. The problem is
gone. He smiled. The coach is back!
There was an eruption of joy, but Jason looked at his watch. They were cutting it
very close for time. You guys need to get back to the rink! he yelled. He turned to
Walt. Can you get them organized, get them carpooled back to the ice in time for a
warm-up? I need to get changed.
Under control, Coach, Walt said, and he clapped Jason on the shoulder and then
dove into the crowd, directing and organizing as only he could.
The news camera didn t seem to know which direction to go in and Jason ducked
inside the house to make sure it didn t choose him. He felt overwhelmed. The
accusations were gone, the kids& God, the kids had actually been listening to him all
this time and they d shown more character than he d ever thought possible.
It hurt to realize that he d been underestimating them. They had more heart than
he d known. More heart than he had, he realized with a sickening feeling in his
stomach. When the going got tough, they d fought through it. He d quit.
But he couldn t think about that now. He owed those kids so much and he could
only repay them by being the best coach he could be. He looked down at his ragged
jeans. The first step was getting dressed. He d just have to hope the following steps
would be as clear.
48
Home Ice
Chapter Nine
It was late and Jason was tired. The team had won the game, but it had been close.
Closer than it should have been, really. They d given away two goals in the first period
before loosening up their play and tightening up their game. Three unanswered goals in
the next two periods had brought the capacity crowd to their feet, and Jason could still
almost hear the echoes of their cheers bouncing off the now-empty seats.
Almost empty. Jason liked to wind down after a game, sitting alone in the stands,
replaying the highlights and lowlights in his mind. But tonight when he finally said
goodbye to the players, finished dealing with the owners and the fans and the media&
tonight, he came and found one seat in the bleachers already taken.
Mike wasn t sitting anywhere near their usual location. Jason wasn t sure if Mike
was trying to not intrude on Jason s privacy or if he was just making a point that Jason
had to take at least a few steps if he wanted whatever this was to go any further. Jason
didn t think he deserved the generosity of the first option and was overwhelmed by
even the possibility offered by the second.
Tired as he was, he wasn t sure he was in any position to help his case, but there
was no way he was going to walk away from the opportunity. He walked over and
sank into the seat next to Mike. His body wanted to slump and relax, but his mind was
too tense to allow it. He wanted to talk, but couldn t think of what the hell to say.
Finally, he went with the simple truth. I m sorry.
Mike didn t say anything for a while. Then he said, You were scared.
I was fucking petrified. But that didn t make it right. I was trying to protect
you.
Yeah. That was part of it. Mike didn t sound angry, but he sounded like he d
done some thinking and come to some firm conclusions.
Jason sighed deeply. Yeah. They sat quietly for a while, then Jason added,
Thanks for being there tonight. Earlier, at the house. I saw you, over by the birches.
I didn t want to get too far inside the quarantine zone.
Jason deserved that. I panicked and I was an asshole about it, but do you really
think I was wrong? I mean did you see the media there tonight? Half the town too, all
staring at me, wondering what was going on. Did you want to be a part of that? I mean,
as& as whatever we are?
Were, Mike said quietly. Whatever we were. You dumped my ass, remember?
Yeah. I remember. He really wasn t sure how far he should push this. Any
chance of a Mulligan on that?
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The pause lasted a lot longer than Jason was comfortable with. Long enough that he
wasn t totally surprised when Mike shook his head. I don t think so. Not& not unless
we clear some stuff up.
Okay. There was a ray of hope there. What stuff?
Mike sighed and leaned back, bracing his elbows on the top of the bleacher seat.
Jason tried to ignore the way the stretch shifted and pulled at Mike s shirt, tried not to
imagine the way the skin and muscle was moving beneath the fabric. There s gay
players in the NHL, you know. Like, guys with long-term boyfriends, real
relationships.
Jason wasn t sure where this was going. Well, yeah. I mean, I couldn t give you
any names, but statistically it seems pretty likely.
But I could give you names. Probably not all of them. But there s quite a few guys
who are pretty open about it. They just don t advertise, you know? And if the players
don t make a big deal, the press is really pretty good. I don t know if they re afraid of
lawsuits or if they re actually being decent human beings, but if you re not a superstar
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